NOT MY PROBLEM

Originally Aired: January 24, 1999
Written by: George Melrod
Directed by: Stacy Curtis

Opens with Jake walking to his locker. He's not too happy looking and he sees a note stuck in his locker. He take it out and read it..

JAKE V.O.:
Oh great...

Jake then opens his locker and puts some stuff in, but Marco comes by and closes the locker.

MARCO:
I'm gonna kick your butt...at Space Destroyer 3 tonight.

JAKE:
Not tonight. I'm way behind on my homework courtesy of you-know-what.

MARCO:
So do it later. Come on!

JAKE:
Marco, please.

Meanwhile Rachel has walked up.

RACHEL:
Jake, I need your help with something.

MARCO:
What am I, invisible?

JAKE:
I can't tonight Rachel.

RACHEL:
Jake, come on, you have to.

MARCO:
Like you always say to me Jake, "You haven't got a choice."

JAKE:
Not tonight.

And that's his final word on it. He shuts his locker and leaves.

Cut to Jake arriving at home.

JAKE:
Hey mom! You got anything to eat?

JAKE V.O.:
Our secret struggle against the yeerks goes on, but it's not just the fight that wears you down. It's tough to act like everything's cool when the enemy's everywhere... even in your own home.

TOM:
Hey Jake!

Tom quickly throws an orange at Jake which he catches.

JAKE:
Hey. I didn't know anybody was home.

TOM:
What'cha up to?

JAKE:
Just listening to some music.

TOM:
Yeah. Homework can always wait huh?

JAKE:
Is mom around?

TOM:
Nope. We're going to go play some hoops. Want to come?

At this point, two of Tom's friends walk into the kitchen from the living room.

JAKE:
No.

He turns to leave, but walks into the other two.

GUY #1:
Come on, we need a four.

Jake tries to leave, but the guy blocks his way.

TOM:
Leave him alone guys. If he's too scared to play against me, I understand.

JAKE:
Thanks for the support Tom, really.

They hear the door close. Jake's parents have come home.

GUY #1:
Come on.

NIKKI:
Hi guys.

GREG:
What's going on?

Jake sighs and leaves.

Cut to Jake storming into his room and slamming the door.

JAKE:
I can't do this any more! I quit!

He throws his books down and sits on his bed, with his head in his hands. He slowly looks up and the camera pans over to the right.. it's the Ellimist.

ELLIMIST:
Is that what you want Jake?

Cut to opening theme.

JAKE:
Ellimist? There really is no escape is there?

ELLIMIST:
That's your choice Jake. Only you can choose to give up your fight.

JAKE:
This is not my fight. I'm a teenager! I cannot carry the fate of the entire human race on my shoulders. It's too much. It's way too much.

ELLIMIST:
The Yeerks have invaded your world, I cannot change that fact.

JAKE:
I know, but I don't want to be the one responsible to stop them.

ELLIMIST:
What about your friends? Your decision will impact them as well.

JAKE:
I can't speak for them. I just want to be normal again. I wish I'd never met Elfangor and I wish I never got involved in this stupid fight.

ELLIMIST:
You're certain?

JAKE:
Yes.

ELLIMIST:
Very well, because of all you have done for your race, I shall honor your request.

Flash to Jake's house and cut to Jake getting breakfast. He seems much happier than when we last saw him. He sits down in a table in the living room and his parents enter not knowing he's there.

NIKKI:
Well, he's never been like this before. It must be growing pains.

GREG:
Nikki I think it's bigger than that. We should limit his after-school activities.

NIKKI:
Why don't you just talk to him and find out what the matter is?

GREG:
I've tried, he doesn't seem to think there's a problem.

JAKE:
Mom, dad...

NIKKI:
Hey, hi Jake.

GREG:
Hi Jake.

JAKE:
I'm worried about him too.

NIKKI:
I know honey.

JAKE:
I think I can talk to him.

Tom at this point enters the house.

TOM:
Talk to who?

JAKE:
Hey Tom, what's up?

TOM:
What are you guys talking about?

JAKE:
My geometry teacher. I can't tell the difference between an isosceles triangle and a ping pong ball. He's on me about it.

TOM:
Why am I not surprised? Okay, okay... I can help you out.

NIKKI:
Tom? Do you have any plans for tonight? It's just that Mitzi has given us some theater tickets and..

TOM:
Ah.. no can do. Some friends and I, we rented this club, we're having a party.

GREG:
The.. uh... Sharing group? Why don't you take your brother along? Might be a good influence.

TOM:
Yeah, actually I was thinking you should start checking it out. Could give us a chance to hang a little bit more. You in?

JAKE:
Yeah.

TOM:
All right.

NIKKI:
Good.

Cut to Brockwood High School... we see Tobias, as a human, kinda following Rachel, but Jake walks up behind them both.

JAKE:
Rachel!

Tobias sees Jake and backs off.. kinda..

JAKE:
Hey Rach! (Runs up to her) Look who's behind you again.

They turn and see Tobias as he heads off in another direction.

RACHEL:
Tobias?

JAKE:
Yeah. Don't you think it's weird how he's always following you?

RACHEL:
Jealous?

JAKE:
Oh come on! Listen, I'm going to a party tonight with Tom at the Spider Club, do you want to come?

RACHEL:
Who else is going?

Jake checks his watch.

JAKE:
Oh man, I'm late! Chapman wants to see me.

RACHEL:
What about?

JAKE:
I don't know. Will you bring Cassie?

RACHEL:
Maybe..

JAKE:
See you later.. don't forget.

Jake runs off to go see Chapman.

Cut to Jake at Chapman's office. He knocks on the door.

CHAPMAN:
Ah Jake! Come in, come in.

Jake enters the office and turns to close the door. As he does so he notices Tobias near by spying.

Cut to Tobias and Rachel in Chemistry lab.. (ahh.. I loved Chem labs, they were so much fun..)

RACHEL:
If I have to do another chemical experiment I'm going to have a meltdown.

TOBIAS:
Well there are worse things in life than chem class.

RACHEL:
Such as?

TOBIAS:
Well... things..

RACHEL:
Nothing too terrible I hope. At least give me a hint.

TOBIAS:
Don't you think people around here have been kind of... acting weird lately?

RACHEL:
Like who for instance?

TOBIAS:
Like her. (Indicates a girl sitting near Rachel) I mean, until last week she was totally twisted. Full of obnoxious remarks and goofy jokes... and stiff.

RACHEL:
So? Maybe her parents grounded her or something.

TOBIAS:
It wasn't her parents that turned her around.

RACHEL:
What do you mean?

TOBIAS:
Skip it. It's too grim.

RACHEL:
I love grim.

TOBIAS:
It would put you in danger. Infact, you already are. Everyone is.

RACHEL:
From what? Terrorists? The Ozone Layer? Fatty foods? Tobias?

TOBIAS:
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

RACHEL:
Try me.

Cut to Rachel and Cassie walking home.

CASSIE:
Slugs living in people's heads?

RACHEL:
He's totally crackers, like off the deep end!

CASSIE:
He's so cute.

RACHEL:
I know. So he's got some flipped ideas. It's not like he's hurting anyone.

CASSIE:
If that's what he wants to believe.

RACHEL:
Anyways.. he's fixated on this Sharing thing. We're going to check it out tonight. You should come by, Jake will be there.

Cut to Jake and Tom playing basketball. Jake's just scored.

JAKE:
You weren't paying attention.

TOM:
Yeah, yeah, whatever. Come on.

They continue to play some more. Jake goes in for a shot, but Tom blocks him.

TOM:
Nice try Jake-o, but I have been doing this a lot longer than you have.

Tom does some fancy dribbling, but Greg comes by, steals the ball, shoots and scores.

GREG:
Swish, two points. (Goes inside the house).

JAKE:
Too bad college entrance exams aren't as easy as basketball. You don't seem too worried about the exams.

TOM:
I'm not worried about a thing.

Cut to the Spider Club. Tom is on stage hosting.

TOM:
Hi, I'm Tom. Welcome to the Spider Club. We've got some great tunes for you, and the place is ours until midnight, so let's party!

Music starts and everyone is enjoying themselves. Rachel enters and looks around and sees Marco.

RACHEL:
Marco? I didn't know you were coming.

We notice Marco's dressed like a J.Crew ad now.

MARCO:
I joined the Sharing last week. (Notices Rachel staring at him) What's wrong?

RACHEL:
It's just... I guess I haven't seen you dressed up before, that's all.

MARCO:
Well it's still me Rachel. I just cleaned up my act a little bit, that's all and for the better. You can too.

RACHEL:
Um.. right. Have you seen Jake?

MARCO:
He's around. Welcome to the club. Oh, and um... keep your ears open.

Rachel leaves him to look for Jake. He's sitting at a table and sees her.

JAKE:
Hey Rachel! Rachel! Hey, I'm glad you're here. I was wondering if you'd make it.

RACHEL:
What's with Marco? He's acting really weird.

JAKE:
You're surprised? See, if Marco wasn't acting weird, then that'd be weird. Look who's here.

Rachel turns and sees Tobias entering.

RACHEL:
I invited him. He's a nice guy Jake.

JAKE:
If you say so.

RACHEL:
He's funny. Totally paranoid. He says we're all in danger. I figured he needs to get out of the house. He thinks there's this big conspiracy and that Chapman's part of it too.

JAKE:
Could you hold on a second? I'll be right back.

Cut to Cassie and Jake.

JAKE:
Hey. Glad you could come.

CASSIE:
Hey. Good party.

JAKE:
Rachel and I are sitting just over there. (sees Tobias enter a room in the back) Can I get you another drink?

CASSIE:
Actually I was looking for the bathroom.

JAKE:
It's right over there.

CASSIE:
Thanks.

Cassie leaves and Jake heads to where Tobias went. Cut to Tobias in the room fooling around with stuff. Jake enters.

JAKE:
We're not suppose to be back here. Rachel told me what you said. Listen, I've been kind of suspicious too. I mean my brother's been acting weird.. if you want to talk about it...

TOBIAS:
Not here. It's too dangerous. The Sharing is a front.

JAKE:
A front? For what?

TOBIAS:
For an alien conspiracy.

JAKE:
You know what? You've been watching way too much Mystery Science Theater.

TOBIAS:
Listen, your brother's one of them and unless...

Tom enters.

TOM:
What's up?

JAKE:
Just shooting the breeze.

TOM:
Yeah, well, shoot it somewhere else Jake.

Another guy enters.

GUY:
Everything all right here?

TOBIAS:
I know when I'm not wanted.

Tobias starts to leave, but is stopped by two big guys who are kicking him out of the club.

Cut to Tobias being kicked out. He's walked past Rachel who's talking to another girl. The girl sees him being dragged out.

GIRL:
Hey look!

RACHEL:
Tobias!

TOBIAS:
Remember what I said.

Cut to Tom and Jake in the back room.

TOM:
What were you guys talking about?

JAKE:
He thinks the Sharing is a front for an alien conspiracy.

Cut to Rachel and the girl again. The girl leaves as Cassie comes up.

CASSIE:
Yuck. This place could use a janitor.

RACHEL:
Cass, what's wrong?

CASSIE:
In the bathroom, I went to the wrong room and I saw [in this sink it's] kind of a gross slug.

Cut back to Tom and Jake.

JAKE:
He also said that you were one of them.

TOM:
And what do you think?

JAKE:
I think that if he knows too much about us we have to move quickly. Very quickly. We have to do something to stop him.

Cut to the next day at school. Tobias enters and sees Rachel.

TOBIAS:
Rachel! You okay?

RACHEL:
How about you?

TOBIAS:
Fine. It took me a while to shake off Frankenstein's sons. Did you see anything weird after I left last night?

RACHEL:
Cassie said she saw some gross slug in the bathroom. We took off right after you left.

TOBIAS:
Look, from now on you have to be super careful. You can't trust anyone, not even...

Stops because he sees Cassie coming.

CASSIE:
Hey Rach.

RACHEL:
Hey.

Cassie notices that everything's kinda tense.

CASSIE:
Well, later.

TOBIAS:
Did you leave the party before her?

RACHEL:
You don't think? But she's my best friend.

TOBIAS:
Don't you get it? It can be anyone!

JAKE:
Hey guys. What's up? Tobias, I'm sorry about last night. My brother was way out of line. No hard feelings?

TOBIAS:
That's cool. I've got to go to class. See you later.

JAKE:
So what were you guys talking about?

Cut to Jake knocking on Chapman's door.

CHAPMAN:
Ah.. Jake. Come in, come in.

JAKE:
You asked to see me?

CHAPMAN:
Right, right. Why don't you close the door and take a seat?

JAKE:
He knows.

CHAPMAN:
Who's that sir?

JAKE:
Don't "sir" me, 554. That kid Tobias. He knows everything. He must be working with an andalite.

CHAPMAN:
I assure you sir... (getting out of his seat).

JAKE:
Sit down.

CHAPMAN:
Yes sir.

JAKE:
It was your responsibility to weed out any suspicious students. Now we have a spy on our hands or worse. If my host's brother and I hadn't caught him last night, he might have discovered the location of the kandrona.

CHAPMAN:
I'll keep an eye on him.

JAKE:
It's too late for that. Visser Three has instructed me to deal with the situation directly, and if anything like this ever happens again...

CHAPMAN:
It won't happen again sir.

JAKE:
You're the one that's going to be in detention, and I don't mean school. There are plenty of other yeerks who would love to wear the principal's hat. Just remember that.

Jake opens the door to leave and turns back around.

JAKE:
Thanks for the advice Principal Chapman, I'll try to be more conscientious in the future.

As Jake closes the door the camera pans down to a lizard on the floor.

TOBIAS T.S.:
This is getting out of hand.

The lizard crawls into the boy's room. In a few seconds Tobias emerges. The bell rings and students exit their classes. Tobias is by his locker and sees Jake, and Jake sees him. Each knows what the other is thinking and they're having this big stare down. Eventually Jake leaves.

Cut to the window in Rachel's room. The phone rings.

RACHEL:
(picking up the phone) Hello.

TOBIAS:
Rachel, it's me.

RACHEL:
Oh, hi Cassie. (We see Jake's in her room)

TOBIAS:
You can't talk. Okay.. uh... look I need your help. I know that I can trust you. Meet me tonight in the back room of the Spider Club. 8:30. I'll leave the side door open for you.

RACHEL:
Yeah sure, I can get you my history notes.

TOBIAS:
That's where they keep something they don't want anyone to see. And Jake's going to try and follow you but don't let him. He can't know about any of this.

RACHEL:
Alright Cass, thanks for calling. (Hangs up).

Cut to Rachel at the back room of the Spider Club.

RACHEL:
Hello? Tobias? Where are you? Tobias? Is anybody here?

Jake steps out from behind her.

JAKE:
Rachel. Long time no see.

RACHEL:
Jake. What are you doing here?

JAKE:
That's funny, I was going to ask you the same question.

RACHEL:
I uh... I left something here last night.

JAKE:
So you did.

RACHEL:
What are you going to do?

JAKE:
I think you already know.

Suddenly a lion roars. It goes after Jake. Jake turns to get away, but falls into a table knocking himself out.

RACHEL:
Jake!

TOBIAS T.S.:
Don't be afraid Rachel. It's me.

RACHEL:
Tobias? But how?

Tobias demorphs from lion.

TOBIAS:
Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I'll explain everything to you later.. but first...

RACHEL:
What should we do about Jake?

Cut to Tobias tying Jake up.

RACHEL:
You mean every three days a yeerk crawls out of his ear to soak up energy?

TOBIAS:
That's why we have to destroy their kandrona.

JAKE:
You can't win Tobias. There's too many of us.

TOBIAS:
Where's the Kandrona?

JAKE:
You really think I'd tell you?

TOBIAS:
If not we'll just wait for that yeerk to slide out of your ear and then we'll hear from the real Jake.

JAKE:
The real Jake doesn't exist any more. It belongs to me. One question human. Where's the andalite? The one that's been following our every move?

RACHEL:
Here. This human was the lion.

TOBIAS:
Rachel!

RACHEL:
I saw him morph.

JAKE:
So that's it. It's been you all along. Elfangor gave you the power to morph.

TOBIAS:
No. Rachel, not you too.

RACHEL:
Like the man says, we're every where.

Tobias tries to get out, but controllers including Marco and Cassie stop him. He tries to escape through another exit, but two controllers grab him.

JAKE:
Good work 249. Sorry Toby, forgot to tell you. She's been ours since last night. You fell right into our trap. Morph if you think you have the strength, but I wouldn't. An animal can be gotten just as easily as a human.

The real Rachel in the mean time has taken control for the moment.

RACHEL:
Tobias, forgive me. I didn't mean to.

The Yeerk beings to take control of Rachel again.

JAKE:
They fight back from time to time. They always lose. (Tom unties Jake).

VISSER THREE:
Nicely done, Jake.

JAKE:
Visser three, I present to you the so-called Andalite Warrior and with it the end of the human resistance on earth.

VISSER THREE:
You have done very well. Now it is time to collect your reward. On behalf of the Yeerk empire I now name you Visser Ten.

TOBIAS:
They'll be others like me.

JAKE:
No there won't. And those that do come will be too late.

TOBIAS:
We should have been on the same side, Jake. We should have fought together.

JAKE:
We are. Just not the side you wanted.

Tom hands Jake a Yeerk to put into Tobias, but the real Jake starts to take over and he drops the Yeerk.

JAKE:
Don't make me do this.

TOBIAS:
You can fight it. Jake, you can fight it!

JAKE:
I don't want to do this.

TOBIAS:
Jake come on!

JAKE:
Don't make me do this!

TOBIAS:
You're stronger that this..

VISSER THREE:
Take control of yourself.

JAKE:
Somebody help me.. No! No!

Flash to Jake in his room.

CASSIE:
(from outside) Jake? Jake are you in there?

JAKE:
Yeah. (Gets up and checks himself in the mirror) I am.

He opens the door and Cassie is there with a book and a worried look.

CASSIE:
Hey, I thought you might want that back. (hands Jake the book).

JAKE:
Thanks.

CASSIE:
I borrowed it.

AX:
(off screen, we hear running) Jake! Jake!

JAKE:
Is that Ax?

AX:
(running into Jake's room) I have important new. I have to show you something. (He blows a big bubble with gum and pops it)

JAKE:
Thank the universe for Andalites. Cassie, nothing has changed. We're still fighting the Yeerks. Don't you get it? This is amazing!

CASSIE:
Jake, are you okay?

Jake sees both Ax and Cassie staring at him as if he's gone bonkers.

JAKE:
I couldn't be better.

Tobias flies into Jake's room and perches on the windowsill.

JAKE:
Tobias you're still a hawk! I love you as a hawk! You look good as a hawk!!

TOBIAS T.S.:
Thanks... I think...

Marco enters the room.

MARCO:
Jake my friend, you're gushing over a bird. Didn't anyone every tell you? Flattery gets you nowhere.

JAKE:
Marco, you were right.

MARCO:
I was?

JAKE:
Yeah, we've got no choice but to fight the yeerks.

MARCO:
Shush! What's gotten into you?

Rachel enters the room.

JAKE:
Marco, you're not a controller, we're not controllers, none of us are controllers!

RACHEL:
Would somebody stop him?

JAKE:
Rachel, we're not controllers!

As Jake goes on about how they're not controllers Marco tackles him on his bed and Rachel and Cassie join in.

JAKE V.O.:
How do you define happiness? Having friends like these. Friends that have stuck with me in this fight. We're together and I wouldn't have it any other way.

© Scholastic Entertainment / Transcript by Pam